Angelbound - Christina Bauer

I tried. My good God, I tried.


But this book?


This book? (If you're brave enough to call it that. Me, I call it shit in print.)


This book was...beyond awful. Uninteresting. Stereotypical. Oh, let's face it: stupid. In capital letters.


This thing masquerading as a book reminded me of all the stupid fanfiction I've read (and at one point written) over the years.


Kuchiki Byakuya attacking

This is what I want to happen in that book. Him to wipe everyone in this insipid tale out. Totally. See, if you're not familiar with Bleach, let me enlighten you: this is Kuchiki Byakuya, the Sixth Division Captain. And his blade, Senbonzakura, slices you to a thousand little pieces.


That's what needs to happen to this book.


Let's start with this takes place in Purgatory.


I have no problem with that. My problem is with the fact that purgatory is described as a place where people live and have lives!


No. Just no. Even Dante Algheri would probably agree with me on that. Purgatory is not a place where you'd have a kid, raise a kid, send it to high school, and so on. It's, in Christian culture (yes, Christian culture, because Judaism doesn't have the concept of purgatory or hell), where souls go and remain because they're not evil enough for hell, or good enough for heaven-- so the inbetween would be purgatory. Or so I recall. It's been a while since I've take Humanities.


So in this book, apparently purgatory is an okay place. There's a governing body, there's angels, demons, souls... They even have a dreaded high school.


Really? They do? Well shit. Maybe that's what I went through for four years when I was in high school.


And then there's the demon hunters and the Quasi-demons. Quasi-demons fight in the Arena. I keep imagining a Coliseum type of building since it's not described. And hey, if a quasi-demon is going to fight damned souls and other ilk, then a Coliseum is where it should happen right? Right?


Let's talk characters with no substance. That would be Zeke (who believes everything female is in love with him. They had a name for that: Narcissus. I'll bet you he's the one from the Greek myths.) Cissy (Mayla's best friend who also believes that her best friend has a problem with Zeke-- narcissism; it's a condition don'cha know?) and Mayla who lives to fight because she's got wrath flowing through her veins. (Apparently, all of the quasi-demons have some sort of deadly sin essence flowing through their veins. Mayla and her ilk have wrath.)



Really? I feel sorry for him, then. Okay, so he's Pride in the first anime. So sue me.


That's as far as I got, because the stupid girl Mayla actually managed to immediately fall in love with a demon hunter that can't stand. No build up, nothing-- just boom, she's attracted and in love.


In short, this book is totally not worth anyone's time.